W is out of town with his OSO, spending time with her and attending a kink event.  I’m happy for him, but also…I miss him being here, in my town, just down the street from where I drive by on my way to work…knowing he is there and I could stop by and see him.  Also, his focus is definitely not on me, as it should not be, but…yeah, I miss that too.  I wonder what he is doing to her.  I wonder if he thinks about me, you know, sort of accidentally, while he’s doing something to her? Does he think about how I react to him, about the things we do?  It’s a bad girl thing to think, I know that.  But I think it anyway.  And I let myself think those thoughts and feel all those feelings I have about it too…that little bit of envy, the bite of anxiety, the wondering, the longing, the missing.  It’s all good. It’s…life.  My life.  And I love it.
But I want him to long to come home to me too, to miss me like I miss him, to think of me…