I wake in her bed, the flash of lightening brightening the room, illuminating the white of the goosedown comforter tangled around her warm, tanned body where it is wrapped around mine.
Wrapped around mine. I have just woken in my girlfriend’s bed with her warm, soft body wrapped around mine. Can life get any better? At the moment, no.
I have slept here all night, breathing in the smell of her, feeling her soft skin, feeling her hands, so small and delicate, tracing over me, feeling her legs, so long and strong, spooning against mine, listening to her breathing. I run my hand over her skin, aching with the need to touch her, to touch every inch of her skin, to explore every inch of her.
I am completely at a loss.
I have made love to women before. I know the “how-to” of it, where the parts are, how they work…but I don’t know this woman. And I don’t know this new thing, the emotional component. How do I do this?
It wasn’t actually an issue last night, we have our kids here, we have to be circumspect. But this morning, this morning after sleeping with her all night, I want her so badly, I want to discover her, to discover myself…and I realize I don’t know how.
I wish I was a man: I want to roll over on top of her and slide my body, my flesh, into hers. But not because that’s the easy way (how easy do men have it!) but because, god…god…I want to be inside her, to live inside her, to feel her close around my flesh, to come inside her.
I want her. God I want her.
For more on the relationship side of this, visit A Poly Life, my new blog about living in multiple relationships.