My fingers smell like pussy. Ripe, hot, pungent. The smell makes me smile, warms me with a feeling of satisfaction, of having done well.
He had written:
Task 15 – Due to popular demand. Have an orgasm in the following places: car, restaurant, public restroom, public sidewalk, store of your choice. Penalty assessed for each omission.
Addendum: You may replace one of the above for an orgasm at your place of work.
I knew right away that I was not going to be able to do at least one of them. I come easily, and I come a lot, but I can’t come without some form of stimulation, and a small vibe does nothing but frustrate me. So no “egg in the panties” while I am walking down the street for me.
Unless I could find an alley…
But honestly? I am not that kind of exhibitionist. While I was intrigued by Jess’s idea, and by the fact that W has never played that way with me, the sad reality is that I am probably not the best candidate for the orgasm in public game. I need to concentrate, and I have almost a phobia of exposing vanillas to my personal kink. The discomfort and embarrassment I feel in those situations is generally not the good kind, and being able to orgasm thru those feelings would probably never happen.
Still, there are ways that this can work for me. A public bathroom is a prime example. My office, or an office building, when no one is around is another. My car, given that I don’t think people can actually see what I’m doing, could be another. Possibly a darkened movie theater.
Honestly, though, I’m just not that kind of girl. The embarrassed-in-public or public-sex kind of girl, unless it is in front of fellow kinksters. Then there is still keen embarrassment, and even humiliation, and a lot of discomfort, but in that case, it’s a turn on.
Go figure that I’d make it complicated.
But I want to do the best I can, and if I can find ways to make this work for W, I will. It may not be quite as public as he might have imagined or desired, and I may take a penalty for that, but I will do what I can do, because I love that feeling of accomplishment when I’ve done so. Of knowing I’ve made him laugh or smile or made his cock hard.
Tonight I was the last one in my office. I’ve been working til 9pm each night, because my son has drama practice til then, but usually there is another girl here whose job is even more overwhelming than mine. Today she left on vacation. And I was alone.
I wanted to close the blinds over my window. My window looks over at a gas station, but because it’s high up, it is possible to be somewhat hidden down here on my office chair. Still, it’s a busy gas station, and people walk down the alley that separates our office from them all the time. If someone looked in at just the right time, with the lights on in here, and dusk falling out there…
No, damn it, I wasn’t going to weasel out. I left the blinds just the way they were. But I needed something really nasty to get my mind off anxieties about being seen. I needed W’s hands on me, his voice in my ear…
That wasn’t going to happen, though. So I settled for porn on my laptop.
I don’t watch a lot of porn. And surprisingly, when I do, it’s not BDSM porn (think kink.com) that does it for me. As I was telling W the other day: pure BDSM torture scenes don’t do it for me, and while sex and S/M might, that’s not really what gets me where I live. Usually it is totally pedestrian: a cock in a hole. But sometimes, if I see a good short clip of some real-seeming rough sex, that will do it. Mostly what’s in my head is much much worse than what I like to watch if I am looking for porn to get off to. It’s pretty nasty in there, perverted and filled with images of sucking, fucking, choking, slapping, whipping, name-calling and all kinds of non-consensual sexual antics.
But today my own thoughts were just not going to cut it. I needed something way on the fringe, something visual, something that took my mind off that damn window, leering at me like a giant, unblinking eye.
And in fact, what I did watch was so nasty that I am not even going to confess to it here. So there.
But boy howdy did it work. I undid my slacks, pulled them down around my hips, leaned back in my chair and spread my legs. Within about two minutes of stroking my clit, I was shuddering in a powerful–but silent–orgasm.
I couldn’t quite let myself go that much.
One down. Four to go.