I’m posting the last of the pictures, thoughts and musings I have from our last days in Michigan over on A Poly Life: Michigan – Endings and Beginnings. (Link opens in a new window.) The topic and tone seems much more suited to that space to me, even if I posted the beginnings of the trip here.
I started posting my trip notes here originally because I thought I’d have some play to talk about. W had sent me with a list of activities to partake in, if I was able (buttplug wearing, chimeballs, writing assignments, high heels, etc.) but…it just didn’t work out for various reasons. It’s not a bad thing that it didn’t work out that way, and in fact would have detracted from the wonderfully emotionally-intimate atmosphere that pervaded the entire weekend if I had been doing kink-on-the-sly, so I am glad that he gave me the choice to participate or not. But what that also meant was that I didn’t have anything overtly kinky to talk about. I still chose to post my pics here, and actually much of what The Missy and I talked about had to do with sex and relationship, but still…
Honestly I am still struggling with the separation between my kink life and what I see as “family” life. Posting about non-kink stuff here makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, regardless of the fact that so many of you chimed in on my poll and said that you’d be perfectly happy seeing APL and PoJ integrated.
In an interesting (and somewhat disconcerting) twist, though, my enforced (and somewhat artificial and not-always-clear-cut) separation of the two spaces may be a construct whose time is coming to an end anyway: The Missy found APL the other day while we were in Michigan. How that happened, and the possible repercussions–as well as the discussion the discovery engendered–will have to be the topic of another post, though, as I don’t have the time or energy just now to get it all down on paper. It wasn’t bad…and certainly not all that unexpected, as she has been asking more and more direct questions about my writing, and has recently started a blog herself…but it complicates things, and has given me some anxiety about her inevitable discovery of this space and what she will find here, and what the fallout will be from that. I do not feel shame in what I do or who I am, but I dread the nearly-unavoidable change this will cause in our relationship, as it is bound to affect how she sees me, her mother.
I hope that it does not damage our relationship.
In any case, the bottom line (for the moment) is that you’ll want to go over to APL for the last of the Michigan pics, and the jury’s still out on how/if the two spaces will be integrated in the new domain. I’ll be sure to keep ya’ll updated, though. 😉
I found that such a beautiful post at APL, Jade. I’m commenting here because I wasn’t sure given your daughter’s finding out about it and perhaps not knowing about this one if a comment there would offer a connection that could be followed back here, if you will…. But anyway, thanks for sharing all this, and again, I really loved what you had to say there. All best. Xoxoxo
Thank you so much, both for your kind words, and your discretion. But I would have been fine with your comment over there–she’s too smart not to find this space here, now that she’s found that one there, if she really wants to. I did take off the direct link in the sidebar to PoJ, but I have mentions of it and links posted throughout it, so it’s only a matter of time. And…when it happens…we’ll talk. Just like we always do. 🙂
I do find what you’ve shared about your relationship with your daughter (as I’ve interpreted it) inspiring—and profoundly beautiful. Thank you again for sharing what you have, and I wish you both all the very best. Hugs!
Tricky. Tread carefully and take your time – don’t rush this decision.
sev xx