I’m laying here in bed writing this on my phone because I want to get it down before I lose it and before the rest of my day begins.
I also want to avoid the multitude of distractions and responsibilities that I will face once I get on the computer.
I jokingly wrote a post once about “not being able to do everything.” It was written tongue-in-cheek, but it’s the bald truth…there just aren’t enough hours in the day for everything I want to do. Or rather, I’m not awake enough hours. If I didn’t need sleep…
I always feel like I haven’t done enough, I always go to bed thinking about all the things I didn’t get accomplished and the things still out there to do, nagging at the corner of my mind, or sitting on my desktop or my phone screen, a reminder that the half hour I wasted playing around on Fetlife (which doesn’t feel like wasted time because I enjoy the social interaction and sometimes feel I legitimately have something valuable to contribute) or poking around on Pinterest or playing Words with Friends or taking a ten minute break on the couch or whatever really was just that: wasted time. I should have been: crocheting, writing this post, working on a new piece of erotica, paying my bills, taking care of a work thing that came up or a myriad of other tasks that just didn’t get done by the time (an hour and a half later than I wanted to) I finally let myself crawl into bed.
Yesterday I:
Met with my tattooist
Decided on a design
Got tied up
Did yoga
Finished two blog posts
Started another
Listened in a half-ass way to the debate
Hung out with Ana
Got her on 750 words
Wrote 750 words
Updated my Kinky Bucket List page
What I didn’t get done was:
Crochet
Beading project
New blog format
Finish or (even start) two (or three, or four) other blog posts
Work on new story
Pay a bill
Pay attention to the debate
Post Z pics
Edit Z pics
Do bread and butter notes from party
Write about the party
List my latest book on my blog
Or any of the other multitudinous, mundane household tasks, such as laundry, vacuuming or combing my hair. Seriously, thank GOD for ponytail bands.
Sigh.
Okay. Enough of this. Because you know, this post isn’t getting done any of the other dozens of tasks I need to get done this morning, before my day even really starts.
*hugs*
I understand this all too well myself. To a degree you’re not giving yourself credit, I think, because I suspect finishing something isn’t noteworthy/creditworthy, you’re just doing what you’re supposed to. After all, why give yourself credit for just doing your job, right?
And so you miss all the things you actually did to by focusing on what still remains to do.
I would challenge you to take a day sometime and specifically don’t do anything you have to do but instead only do what you want to do.
If you’re like me, I think you’ll find it very very hard. And that’s why it’s important to do it.