As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t often go into fantasy-realms when we are playing. I don’t pretend that he is someone other than who he is, that I am a damsel-in-distress, or that I am being kidnapped, etc., even tho these are strong themes in the stories he often tells me when he is fucking me, and I get off mightily on them when he does. But I’ve just never been much of a make-believe girl, at least in this respect, and I don’t tell stories in my head while he is abusing me.
Except when I do.
This was one of those times.
He was rough with me, abrupt and callous, shoving me down to the floor and tying me quickly, efficiently, face down, with my arms spread in a posture of utter submission and helplessness. When I tried at one point to lift my head he shoved my face back down and held my head there for a long moment, my cheek grinding into the floorboard until I stopped struggling. Later he would use his bare feet to accomplish the same thing, stepping on the back of my neck and head to force my face back to the floor to enforce his unspoken directive: I was not to lift my face.
Using the rope, he hauled my legs up and under me and secured them there. Having my knees drawn up enhanced the feeling that this wasn’t about sex, this was about punishment. And as he used his bare feet on my back and neck to shove me down and hold me there, stepping on me, how could I help but conjure up images and feelings of being a prisoner being tortured?
And yet.
And yet there was still something so incredibly erotic about the feel of his bare feet on my skin. Something so charged in being pinned by his feet. Of him holding me in place with my neck between his feet as he slashed at my back with a whip.
And there was something else. Something about him, his demeanor, his intensity, during this scene. He was harsh in a totally different way, as though he, too, was channeling my fantasy. (In talking later he confirmed that yes, that was where he had gone as well.)
It’s a scenario I just might want to revisit. A fantasy I just might want to venture into again, just to see where it takes me.
And him.
