February Photofest – Day 15

I know, I said this February was all about the panties, but I just had to share this image today instead. This is me, after running this AM. I was slick with sweat and feeling AMAZING! Although it was only about 2 miles, I felt positively giddy with pleasure and self-congratulations (okay, probably not warranted, but we take what we can get.) And strong. And unconquerable. Running – even the short runs I do – makes me feel that way.

Running fixes all the things. Not getting enough play? Get out and run. Feeling stressed about my parents? Take a run. Experiencing a break-up? Get out and RUN (preferably to some music that takes me out of my head.) Want to feel sexy and powerful and strong and alive? Run, baby. Run.

I started back up again while on this trip. That was the promise I made to myself – I could come down here for a few weeks if I started running again. I almost reneged before I even got started by forgetting my Apple watch back home. Oh no how could I run without it? My watch is like a little Dom attached to my wrist telling me to do all the good things I know I should do, but don’t. I love it (along with the running app I use, that bosses me the whole while I am running.) I know, it’s a shock that that works for me (giggling a little maniacally here.) But in the end, I didn’t allow it to stop me. So…I had to share my triumph here. Hope you don’t mind that I’m not wearing panties!

But if that’s all true, why oh why do I need to bribe myself to get myself going? And why can’t I can’t keep up the habit for longer than 3 months? That’s the next question I have to answer.

February Photofest – Day 9

There’s a new (to me) meme out there hosted by MastersPleasingBitch called Five Things. In it she presents a topic and usually five questions that you address in your blog or Twitter in – you guessed it – five sentences, five bullet points, five paragraphs, five photos…whatever floats your boat. This week’s topic is Five Things about Photography and it fits perfectly with this month’s February PhotoFest photography theme! So, hopefully you will humor me for a bit and read through my long-winded response before you get to the image I chose for today’s panty pic.

Five Things About Photography

  1. Photos gave me self-confidence. I didn’t enjoy pics being taken of me (much) prior to my relationship with W. But he opened my eyes to the joy of photography – both in being photographed and in taking them myself. He made me see myself as beautiful, sensual and sexual in a way that I never had before. I talked about that in one of my earliest blog posts, “The Story of Pictures.”
  2. Photos are my memory. After he passed, it took me awhile to be able to look at any of the hundreds of photos that he had taken of us. They brought up too many memories and broke my heart all over again. Now, finally, I am (mostly) able to look through my pictures on Fet and on my computer and see the joy we shared. I can remember and relive some of those moments and feel happiness that we had that time together, even if it was cut short too soon. See, I have a horrible memory. Always have. But being able to see pictures of what we did stirs my lazy memory up and brings those moments back to me. Even though it is bittersweet at times, I am so very grateful to have them. I have a wall of photos – of him, of V, Adam, my Canadian, my family and friends – and though some of them make my heart ache, and even if some of those relationships are over, I wouldn’t take even one of them down. I frequently walk by that wall and gaze at those pictures, letting them remind me of the love and joy I have been blessed with in my life.

    Okay, an aside: I was looking for a post that related to the next point I am making in this bullet-pointy post, and I accidentally ran across this one: Twisted Tryst Pics & Write-Up. Wow. The write-up is nice. The words evoke a sense of time and place and heat and yumminess. But it’s the images that hit me viscerally. And I would not have remembered so many of the particulars of that time – of his hands and voice and growl and pinches and demands and how utterly owned I was by him – if I didn’t have the images to go along with my words. They may not affect anyone else that way – but that’s okay. They’re my memories.
  3. Sharing my pictures gives me joy. Once upon a time there was a meme called Half-Naked Thursday. It no longer exists, but it was the first place I ever shared pictures of myself. I was terrified! Terrified I wasn’t beautiful enough, interesting enough, photogenic enough. Maybe nobody would like me. But people did. They commented positively. And as my self-confidence grew, I began to look for opportunities to take pictures just so that I could share them, here in my blog, in the different memes, and in my vanilla life too. And now it is such an integral part of my life, both kink and vanilla. So much so that when my daughter and I take our next vacation together, I have made a reservation for a photography/snowshoeing tour in Vancouver. I can’t wait to learn about how to take better photos!
  4. Some images make me hot. Okay, as a writer/reader, I have always thought of myself as, well, a WordGirl. Not a visual stimuli person. An erotica or porn reader, not a voyeur. Again, I have to give credit to W – his instance on memorializing everything in pictures – and in very obviously getting off on them – eventually began to seep into my psyche. Eventually, I began to become aroused by images. Photographs of our own scenes and of others’. Now I run across an image in my Twitter feed and I feel an actual, physical erotic pull, and I have to let myself drift down into it, remember it for later, when I’ll be touching myself or someone else, and I can pull it back into my mind, an electric charge.
  5. And last but not least, a favorite image. I love this picture, even if it was just taken the other day specifically for this month of photos. But seriously, how much fun is this??

And that, dear reader, is five things I know about photography.

Five Things

February Photofest – Day 8

I played with filters today!

The game last night was to try to make my stripes as bright pink as this lovely little slip of a thong, which we came close to doing. And the filter just saturates the colors so much, I love it. Also, check out that round ass!

This was the result of our second night of cribbage. We played for whacks. The first night, I made the rule that whatever the spread in points was – no matter who won – would be the number of whacks I would get, using my second favorite implement, a tool I call the jambock. It’s a dense, solid leather toy that really packs a wallop.

Jambock on the right, warm-up tool on the left.

I only got four whacks with the jambock, though, which the Canadian was disappointed by, so this night, he made the rules for our cribbage game. This time, it was the spread – no matter who won – between the winning peg and the furthest back peg, which turned out to be a lot more than four. But I got to choose the implement – my favorite, the 3-whip!

The difference was 48 – and trust me, we’re both of us too competitive to throw the game one way or the other.

I won, but then so did he. And then so did I. ;-)

I also got to pick where he used the whip, which was my ass, thighs and a little bit of my belly. He got in a few bonus whacks on my puss. NOT my favorite place for sure! But I was proud of myself for taking it with only a few high-pitched squeals. And he made it worth my while. ;-)

February Photofest – Day 6

M is for…
Merry Masochist

Today is Sunday – and it is week 565 of Sinful Sunday, the incredibly popular weekly meme hosted by friend and fellow blogger Molly, of Molly’s Daily Kiss. The first Sunday of the month is always a prompt day, with today’s prompt being the Letter M: “the idea of this prompt is to pick a word that, in this case begins with the Letter M and create an image inspired by it.” (You can see all the participants for the letters A – L by clicking here.)

I haven’t participated much in Sinful Sunday the last few years, I’m sad to say, but I’ve really been enjoying getting my toes wet again in my blog through February Photofest, and it seems only natural to link up the two memes. Too, it helps enormously to have a partner that appreciates me blogging, and in fact insists on it as part of my mental/emotional health regimen.

So yeah…it’s hard to find a better word for the letter M than masochist. And adding that “merry” on there just seems to fit, as I am often smiling and laughing while playing. Not always – I also crave the dark, moody, breaking-me-down kinds of scenes – but more often than not lately my scenes seem to have an element of merriment or playfulness. Perhaps because the space I play in emotionally is lighter? Or more like playing as a bottom? With Sir we are still exploring each other as playpartners and as D/s partners – we are learning about each other and where our edges, boundaries and desires lie; with my Canadian it is without the D/s but from a place of deep affection and respect for each other as Top and bottom. Both spaces call to the masochist in me, but she is a delighted, joyful masochist (even when processing the pain – perhaps even more so then.) Processing pain as something positive, even pleasurable, is what makes me a masochist; embracing it with a joyful attitude is what earns the “merry” moniker.

So, first, my February Photofest image. M (the Canadian) called this “hot-crossed buns” which name I love, and the capturing of which, while exquisitely painful, was also a lot of fun. It doesn’t look like much, but trust me – they had to be hard strikes on a cold ass to get the stripes to come up – ouch! And…yumm!

The perfect panties for a little X-ing-with-a-cane action!

This second image is for Sinful Sunday – after the above image M took it upon himself to administer my daily “maintenance” spanking via cane, and the masochist in me took over, reveling in the searing, blooming pain in each strike of the cane.

Now that’s what I’m talking about…
Sinful Sunday

Click the icons above to see more Sunday Sinners and participants in February Photofest.