First Post

First posts are hard.  So much to say, but no idea where to start.

I’ve been here before.  I’ve journalled in one place and another for years, I’ve kept handwritten journals since I was young, but still, it’s always hard to start.  And, in this instance, my journal is about something specific, it’s not random daily thoughts and life, but about my life as a sexual being.  I have another space to talk about my kids, my viewpoint on that news story, my work life, my hobbies and plans and all the other minutia that goes with being a human being.  Here I want to talk about sex.  Sex and love and relationships and BDSM and kink.  And okay, the occasional post about the daily stuff might get in there too.  Otherwise you might start to think I’m making all this other stuff up.

So I’m a pretty kinky girl.  That’s what most of this will be about.  My adventures as a bi/poly/kinky woman involved with two exceptional men…one with whom I live (aka A or the SO), the other with whom I play (aka W, or the Mean Guy.)  Although play is perhaps too casual a term for what Mr. Mean Guy and I do, and I oftentimes play with the the SO as well.  Yeah, a lot of overlap, a lot of boundaries that aren’t really boundaries after all, continually evolving as our relationships do.  In fact in a conversation I just had with the SO today, he talked about spending more time hanging with W, learning to do some of those things that I associate with the Mean Guy’s realm.  Hmm.  Stuff to talk about when W gets back from vacation.  Turning the nice one into an evil one.  Can I deal with two mean ones?

I don’t think A would be a mean one anyway.  He’s still all about play, even when he’s playing hard.  It could be a lot of fun, having them play off each other, as long as I still got the specific things from each that I need and want.

Sounds like it’s all about me, doesn’t it?  It’s not, but here it’s okay to talk about what I want, what I need.  I want them both.  I need them both.

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