Real Life

It’s hard to feel sexy when you’re sick.  Sneezing, coughing, snotty nose…not-so-sexy. Add that I missed a play date with W because of it and I am one pissy woman.

But yeah, I am a real person, not always the HotSexGirl you see here, so I do get sick occasionally, I get whiney, I get snotty. Being sick sucks.

Then he sends me a picture. It’s on someone’s profile on FetLife, and it’s him, with this woman, probably at a convention of some sort…and fuck it’s hot.  (I won’t link to the exact page b/c I haven’t got permission to do so–you’ll just have to trust me on this.)  I am not usually stimulated in a visceral way from pictures.  That’s why I don’t always understand what people get out of looking at porn, at least static porn, even the stuff we have on Bondage Demons, which is more real and more “active” than most of the canned porn you see out there…but photos just tend to be too sterile, too still, for me.  There’s no story behind it, you can’t feel, hear, see, taste what it was like, what was happening.  Porn clips are a little better, but still…I’m just not built mentally that way, I suppose.

Total opposite reaction when I saw this picture.  There is my lover with this woman, her legs spread for him, his fingers in her cunt as he digs into her the way he does me…  God, instant flash of heat, of desire, instant flashback to the things he has done to me, to the feel of his hands on me, in me.  Is it because it is him, I know him, I know that look on his face, I know the feel and smell and taste of him?  I don’t know.  All I do know is that I am missing our play date, missing him, all that much more.

It sucks being sick.

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