Day 2: List your kinks.
Good heavens, what do I not find kinky? What doesn’t turn me on? Oh, hmmm…actually, there are a few things, as I discovered in talking with W the other night. Although (sigh) I wonder if, in the middle of the things he does to me, in the middle of being taken, being used, being fucked, if even those things would turn me on. Sometimes I wonder…what are my limits? Where are my boundaries?
But perhaps that should be discussed in a different post.
The short answer to the question is that there are too many to list. But I’ll name a few off the top of my head.
- Being controlled/loss of control. This is a big one, and probably informs everything else that follows.
- Being forced to do things that I don’t want to
- Being exhibited
- Being given away or used by others
- Being talked dirty to, whether that is being called names or being told dirty stories about what he wants to do to me/have me do/have others do to me
- Hands on my mouth or throat
- Being restrained, either by hand, with rope or any other material
- Consensual non-consent
- Rough sex/fighting back/being overpowered
- Feeling small, humbled, embarrassed
Geez, the list seems so short. I guess I am trying to list things that specifically get me hot and bothered, as opposed to things that I just enjoy during BDSM play. I mean, I like gags, anal sex/toys, being filled and stretched, crops, canes and other implements, piss play, objectification, etc., but really, any of those things–as well as, let’s face it, any of the others listed–are all under the umbrella of having my control stripped from me. That is my true kink. And under that umbrella, if I was told to do, or forced to do, anything else, it could, and would, become kinky.
Here’s a few things that don’t really trip my sexual trigger (which is how I define a “kink”):
- Playing a top
- Blood play (although doing some things that might cause bleeding are hot, it’s not the blood itself that gets me)
- Scat (although being enema’d is a huge turn on)
- Death themes
And no, you don’t see anything on that list having to do with the truly non-consensual, because–duh.
There are some things that I do get off on from a non-sexual kink perspective. Needles would fall in that category. Some predicament bondage as well. And some pain play. W usually eroticizes our pain play so that pain = some form of pleasure, but occasionally he does not, and yet I still enjoy it (enjoy not enjoying it, lol.)