(Vanilla) Sexual Bucket List

Found this on Walk on the Wild Side via last week’s Wanton Wednesday.  I don’t have my own Sexual Bucket List, but I thought it’d be fun to see how many of these, taken from a “general woman-oriented website of 50 sexual must-dos before you die” list, that I have already done…maybe with some crib notes to go along with them ;-)

Edit: Good heavens.  These are…pretty tame. I may need to find a kinkier list somewhere.
(Edit to the edit: Done! Watch this space for the new, kinky list, soon.)

I’ve done all but five of them. Five!  (X=Done.)

Here’s my list, with notes as appropriate:

1 Kiss a girl X
2 Have anal X
3 Have a threesome X
My first threesome is a great story. The cliched office party gone terribly, terribly awry (but ending up wonderful.)  Hmm, this may be the plot of my new story submission…
4 Engage in group sex X
If group=4, then I’ve been there, done that. A few times. Actually, unless it includes the couples actually breaking up into 2’s, or first one 3 and then the other, it’s kind of…awkward. I’m not actually a big fan. But could be I’m just doing it wrong, or doing it with the wrong people. I dunno.
5 Have phone sexX
It’s amazing to me that I’ve done this (phone-phobic as I am.) In my defense, it’s only happened once.  But (surprisingly!) it was incredibly hot.  It’s also a pretty good story. It happened while I was married to the ex. Before I knew all about being honest and open, I started catting around a bit (read: I was unfaithful.) This was actually before that though, this was in my first exploratory phase. I found a couple online that wanted a sexual submissive. We chatted on YIM and emailed quite a bit until finally they wanted to talk to me on the phone, prior to meeting in real life. I (stupidly) gave them my home number (everyone didn’t have cellphones back then.) (And did I mention how really poor a liar I am? That extends to trying to be sneaky. I’m just…bad at it. I think that’s why I finally just gave up and came clean with the Ex and forced all the changes to our marriage.) So…they called, and of course when the Ex was home. Not only the Ex, but his parents were over too.  And rather than hanging up…I took the call (I didn’t know how to say “no.”) Snuck off into the bedroom and masturbated while they (his wife was on the other line) said dirty things to me, while the Ex and the ex-Dragon-in-Law were in the front room. LMAO
6 Masturbate X Duh.
7 Use a vibrator X
8 Use a sex toy on someone else X
I had originally thought that I hadn’t done this (in all the times that I have had sex with women, I don’t think I’ve used toys! W should be proud of me.) But actually I just remembered that I have–on a man.  I fucked a guy in the ass with a dildo once.  And he paid me.  Um, yeah, that’s a story for another time.
9 Be tied up X
10 Tie someone up X
11 Have sex in a public space X
12 Be a voyeur and watch others having sex (live, porn does not count) X
(Some of these are SO making me laugh.)
13 Sex in a car X
14 Sex at a drive-in
Surprisingly not. And now drive-ins are few and far between. :-(
15 Mile-high club
Another “no.” Played handsies during flights under a blanket, but not actual sex. And honestly…I just don’t think I have the balls to do it.  Unless it’s in a private plane.
16 Sex with a stranger X
17 One-night stand X
18 Married sex X
(Like, with my own spouse? Or someone else’s?)
19 Sex on a boat X
20 Sex in a body of water X
21 Light spanking X
(I like that they specify “light.” No, I’ve only had hard spanking…)
22 Read erotica X
(Seriously? This is on a “must-do” list for adult women?  I read my first erotica at about 12 or 13…)
23 Play strip poker/Monopoly/card game X
(Does Scrabble (the Jade way!) count?)
24 Sex in the shower X
25 Sex standing up against a wall X
(Does a floor-to-ceiling window count? No, that’s not a pic of the actual fucking, but…who knows, maybe I will post one for a future Wanton Wednesday.)
26 Sex with no kissing X
27 Sex in the pitch black X
I used to have a bedroom with no window…it was like a cave in there if I shut the door…
28 Sex in the broad daylight X
(Again, seriously?)
29 Making out with no sex long after you’re no longer a virgin X
When I was with my first husband, before we were married, there was a guy that I worked with that had a crush on me. He was actually a manager at the place I worked. I knew he liked me, and while I didn’t encourage him, I really didn’t know how to discourage him, either (and probably didn’t want to. My relationship with my first was pretty rocky right from the get-go, and this man’s sweetness was a balm and comfort after my ex’s…aggression.) Anyway, one night he offered to walk me home, and we made out for a couple hours in a park. It was very hot. I’ve made out many times without sex since, but that time sticks in my mind, because tho I wasn’t a virgin–he was.  He asked me to be his first, and wanted to take me away from my ex, to “rescue me.” But even then, at 19, I knew he was too sweet for me. I broke all contact with him except as it pertained to work matters that night. He transferred to another store a couple weeks later.
30 Sex in a tent in the wilderness X
(How about no tent in the wilderness?)
31 Watch porn together X
Actually (surprisingly?) not often.
32 Watch porn alone X
Much more often.
33 Learn to give yourself multiple orgasms X
34 Sex on the beach X
Sounds romantic, but sand in the cracks–not so much.
35 Blindfolds X
36 Using ice sexually X
How about a Popsicle? At a party, in front of everyone, fucking myself with it on the floor? Does that count?
37 Sexual role play X
Not really “role play,” unless you count D/s in that. Or Boss/employee. ;-)
38 Whipped cream X
Yuck.  That’s all I got to say about that.
39 La Perla lingerie sex
I’m guessing this is something expensive?
40 Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie sex X
Sex while wearing Fredrick’s of Hollywood? ~yawn~
41 Sex with someone much older X
I’ve always liked older men. I think the largest gap was my 44 to his 59. ~shrug~ (Edit: Oh wait. We did BDSM play, but didn’t have actual PIV sex. So maybe the age difference between W and I is the greatest, tho it’s not that many years.)
42 Sex with someone younger (legal!) X
Not often, but yes. And actually, Ad is 2 months younger than me. I’m a cougar!
43 Sex in a foreign country, possibly with a foreigner X
In a foreign country, yes, but no foreign cock. Tho would love to someday…
44 A quickie in a skirt X
45 A longie in the rain X
Mmmm, I am remembering an awesome, stormy night on W’s balcony…
46 Sex in the ocean while people swim all around you
Umm, ew. No.
47 Feather ticklers X
My first ex tried feather “cat toys” on me. Just pissed me off.
48 Sex while “altered” whether by alcohol or something else X
Good heavens. Do I need to even answer this? lol
49 Learn to orgasm in less than five minutes from intercourse alone X
I’m not sure why they say “learn” to do this. Some women simply can or can’t. I am lucky, I can, but I don’t think there was any “learning” about it. It just happened. And why would this be a “must do” anyway?
50 Silent sex in a full house X
Many times. However, the better story is in a car on a roadtrip, with everyone sleeping around us (except the driver, of course.) (Edit: Oh wait, this doesn’t pass W’s definition of sex: only PIV counts.  Yeah, I know, seriously?? But anyway, he only finger-fucked me.  Still a good story though.)

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