Side Effects and Longing

Here’s a weird side effect of spending time with W: the more time I spend with him, the more time I want to spend with him. I miss him more the day after we have spent a couple of days together than if we’ve been apart for a week.  Physically, it makes me ache – literally. Right now, thinking about spending the past two days-ish with him, my cunt is throbbing. I am distracted and easily distractable. I want to be physically near him, and if not that, I crave constant communication. I want to leave work and go home to him. I want to sleep with him tonight, and I want him to fuck me and I want him to play with me, almost more acutely than I wanted all those things when we were together.

You’d think it would be the opposite, wouldn’t you?

I wonder if that is one reason subdrop seems so much harder with him than with anyone I’ve been with before. There’s all these layers of longing and need overlaying the physical effects of subdrop.

And yet, there is a part of me that loves this part too. The longing. The ache. The need for him, like a physical thing, laying just under my breastbone.

~sigh~ I miss him, and we haven’t even been apart 8 hours.

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