Drunken Debauchery

Well, not actually “drunken.”  At least not till later, and then maybe only “tipsy.” And not really “debauchery,” unless you consider going to a cocktail party with a bunch of strangers to watch a demonstration on female ejaculation “debauchery.”

Hmm, that might actually earn that description, mightn’t it?

Actually, our activities the following morning in my bed were far closer to debauched than any that ensued at the cocktail party, even inclusive of the live squirting demonstration by our hostess.  Which seems an odd thing to say, but…really isn’t. The gathering was an educational meeting put on by the Sex Positive St. Louis folks, and the tenor of it was exactly that: positive, low-key, educational, relaxed.

I had found the announcement when I went over to the Sex+StL site to check on the submissions guidelines for the Show Me Anthology they have a call for submissions out on, and for which I was furiously trying to make the deadline last Sunday.  I’m happy to say I made the deadline, and also that I happened on the announcement for the meeting, because it turned out to be a very enjoyable evening for all of us.

I really had no idea what to expect. I’ve always been mildly curious about female ejaculation, especially as W has a play partner that ejaculates copiously, but I’ve never seen it in real life. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to try to do it, mostly because I have heard some women say that once they learn how, they are unable not to, and frankly I don’t want to always have to be “prepared” for sex. I like spontaneity and being able to fuck anywhere, anytime, without having to worry about making a mess.  I was encouraged, however, that Kendra (of The Beautiful Kind, who led the discussion) had taught herself how to do it, but then has been able to do it pretty much only when she wants to, by stimulating herself a certain way, as opposed to it always happening spontaneously.

We actually almost didn’t make the meeting. I’d told W I wanted to go, and he’d agreed to be my date along with Ad, who was also interested in the topic. Let me clarify that: W agreed to go with me, but didn’t have a burning desire of his own to go.  A woman demonstrating female ejaculation in front of a roomful of strangers? No big deal. ~shrug~  I thought it funny that it’s so “old hat” to W that he only wanted to attend on my behalf. And that actually led me to ponder how kind of skewed our worldview is, in some ways. Twenty years ago to me, and I imagine for most of mainstream society now, attending a gathering where a woman is going to demonstrate female ejaculation would have seemed…pretty wild. Out there, you know?  But to us…not really odd at all. When you’ve spent time doing the things we’ve done in private and in public, your sense of…propriety…kinda changes.  Things which a few years ago might have shocked me are almost commonplace now.  Those ponderings had also led me to feeling anxious about going in the first place. Was it a weird thing to do? I have attended many play parties, in private homes and dungeons, in public playspaces, at hotels and at campgrounds. But this seemed…different. Would I end up feeling…dirty, somehow? Would we be voyeurs getting off on a semi-public display of sex? Or would it be clinical? What if I did get aroused, or felt awkward or uncomfortable? I already have anxiety about cocktail parties in general, how would it feel to be in a roomful of strangers talking about and watching a sex act? What would we talk about after?

After a restless night of going back and forth about it, I emailed W and told him I had changed my mind. In one of the few times that he has done so over a thing not specific to my sex, W shifted into Boss mode, and changed my mind back for me.  I was going, he informed me, because he wanted me to. And that, as they say, is all she wrote.  I’m not 100% sure what spurred his sudden show of Bossliness, but it was exactly what I needed, and I am very glad he gave me the little push he did. There was absolutely nothing weird or uncomfortable about the meeting, the topic or the group.  And surprisingly, after the initial discussion on the topic, the rest of the evening was spent talking about many other things besides sex. Oh, sex was a topic of conversation, sure, but, just as we talk openly and without embarrassment or shame  about kink in a roomful of kinksters at a play party, it wasn’t a taboo or titillating topic. As I’ve always loved when I am in a roomful of people who are comfortable in their own skin and with sex in general, it was just something else to discuss. Something we are all interested in, but which doesn’t have the power to shame. It was…lovely, really.

The evening started out with David Wraith, who is one of the leaders of Sex+StL, meeting us at the door in a rain poncho. We knew right away we were in the right place. ;-) We were greeted warmly and then shown into the front room, where a group of about 25 people had gathered.  Kendra was just making introductions, and I was impressed that she seemed to remember everyone’s names. The group has been around a while, and they do frequent small parties, educational sessions and gatherings, so it is possible that everyone there knew each other. This was only my second time at a Sex+StL meeting, and neither of the guys had been to one before.

It took me a bit to settle in, as I was still kind of anxious about it all, and it turned out that I only recognized one other person there aside from Kendra, David & Kendra’s partner, but then the lovely Scarlet, who I don’t get to talk to often enough, showed up with a friend, and soon Kendra was talking about her own experiences teaching herself to ejaculate. I was interested that the barriers to it happening for her (and many women, apparently) are exactly what I am sure my own are: an inability, and perhaps even fear, of letting go enough to allow it to happen. She even mentioned that while she is very comfortable with her sexuality, she has issues with other bodily functions that happen “down there.” Sound like someone else you know? Wow, did I relate to that. It’s one reason that piss, enema & period play are so deliciously humiliating – and so fucking hot. And it’s exactly why I don’t know if I will ever work my way to actually attempting to squirt.

Because that’s the other thing she talked about. That it was the trying to do it that kept her from it as well. She was trying so hard, wanting to make it happen, but that it is something that really needs the opposite: you need to allow it to happen.  And that’s maybe something I will never be able to do. I have g-spot orgasms, and love g-spot stimulation, but I feel myself resisting whenever I feel that “need to pee” feeling that so many people associate with squirting.

Anyway, after some questions and discussion, David let Kendra know that our hostess and her partner, who had graciously opened their home to us, were ready for the demonstration in the other room.

It was pretty impressive, I’ll be honest. I’d never doubted that it was real – I am amazed that some people still don’t believe in it or the g-spot – but to see it happen was very cool.

And then…after it was over and we had a little post-demo discussion, we all went into the other room while they cleaned up, then regathered to share some wine, cheese, crackers and conversation. All in all, a successful, enjoyable evening. Followed by some hot, non-squirting sex this morning. ;-)

Will I ever try to learn to ejaculate? I won’t say never, but it’s still not high on my list of wanna-do’s. Let’s face it, I already have a really long list. ;-)

6 Comments

  1. Faile says:

    I can’t imagine ever wanting to learn to squirt. I can and do squirt on occasion, but to me it’s just a side effect and as you realise a potentially messy one at that.
    Admittedly my boyfriend seems to enjoy making me though.

    Faile x

  2. Magenta says:

    My early orgasms were under the bathtub faucet and I noticed that sometimes, like you said, it seemed like I needed to pee. One time I decided to let it go, since I was in the tub anyway, and OMG was the O so much better!
    Since then, I’ve found that being able to release all those muscles at orgasm increases the sensation and also avoids the cramps I used to get after sex – now I know that they were from trying to keep one set of muscles tight while all around them were convulsing.

    1. piecesofjade says:

      How funny…that was how I first orgasmed as well – water faucet. Hmm. Would love to do that again. It’s been years and years…

  3. Magenta says:

    Oh, and it really helped to find out that my men really liked my juices and don’t have any of the same squick that I get. They seem to take it as a compliment, so I’ve managed to let go of that issue, too.

  4. sxybklvr says:

    Nice! Glad you went. I actually taught myself how to and it is one of the most amazing orgasms ever. But, it is no fun if it is an expected thing to do. Sometimes a girl just needs a straight up fuck. I don’t do it all the time it has to be with specific G spot stimiluation.

  5. Well, I’m one of the ones who can’t not ejaculate when orgasming. It doesn’t really cramp my style – I just keep towels everywhere!

    ‘Sex towels’ are in the bedroom, the hot water cupboard, by the computer, at Hylas’ house, stored in the boot of the car for trips to Ailuros’ … and I put them in place when I start to get aroused, so I never have to worry about scurrying to cover the sheets or furniture before I let go :)

    The main pain is I do a lot of washing. But a lot less than if it was sheets!

    xx Dee

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