A Blank Page

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” ~ Brad Paisley

The quote above is the writing prompt from Little Switch Bitch called Quote Quest. In my desire to write more, I started scanning the usual places, Twitter and the bloggers I know, to find new ideas, new prompts, etc., and this is one of those.

The prompt, the quote, fits in perfectly with my resolution this year to Show Up for Myself. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, and a big part of showing up to me means moving forward in ways that are good now. I can’t erase the past, but I can acknowledge the past and own the mistakes I made, without letting those mistakes be all of me. There’s a me that wakes up every day with a blank page, and I can write good things on that page. I can write good things here, and in my every day actions.

Showing up for myself means being the best that I can be, for myself, for my family and lovers and friends. Sometimes being the best for myself means having to say “no” to others, but it also means saying “yes” sometimes when anxiety or fear make me want to say no.

Sometimes showing up means showing up here, in these pages, and writing steamy, sexy pieces, because that’s part of me. Sometimes it means writing about my heartbreak over losing someone, or losing part of myself as I grow older. These are all pieces of me, and writing about them here is important to me in ways that others might not understand, but that’s okay.

Something Molly said in her piece on the topic struck me deeply, “I have missed writing. Missed just sitting at my desk and letting whatever is burning a hole in my brain out onto the screen. 2020 has a lot to answer for that is for sure. But I am determined to reconnect with my writing because it helps me to think and breathe and understand and often turns me the fuck on too. It is also a really powerful way to communicate my desires to my partners. I want more of that.”

So yeah, this is the first page of my own 365 page book. And I am writing it.